Summer is right around the corner, right? Like, that sucker came QUICK! Just last month, I was doing my immitation Pamela Anderson on the beaches of Puerto Rico, thinking- ok, I could look worse... Well, worse is here it seems. Overseas, I had the confidence to stroll around, belly and thighs in their full glory and now, the thought of being seen @ LBI or Maryland or Seaside has me twitching.... WTF is it about being seen at these places that has me really really stressed??!!! I think it's bc of the pretencious people there that think that Jersey Shore is real life. Their orange & weathered skin @ 20 scares the shit out of me! And, yeah- in my 20's, before bills n real life came along, all I did was work and live at the gym. My ass was coveted! Ask!!! Now, I WISH I could drag my exhaustedbcmycommutesucksthelifeoutofme- ass to the gym. Anyways, where was I?? Beach n wanna b Jersey Shore. Wait, I forgot that the nearest beaches for me IS THE FUCKING JERSEY SHORE!!!!!!!! I guess I should accept reality. I am a worker bee. So, whip out the spray tan, scrunch my hair and FOREVER21 here I come! I have to get into my "Shore" mode, where it's not about how hard you work or your long commute there, but it's all about WAWA hoagies, fake bake, orange "tans" and the OMGISSHEWEARINGATANKINI??!!?!!!!!!?
To Summer of 2012 & orange prostitots everywhere!
A Cubicle Queen
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